To have a meal .. All Alone, that is

Loneliness.....

I have been spending a lot of my time in loneliness in the last 2 decades of my life.. Just that it has become more prominent in the recent past.

At some point in time, one definately would want to be left alone. May be in search of tranquility or to reason out something that has been bothering them.. reasons aplenty. The choice being taken by you or the situation may be such that loneliness is thrust upon you.. and I think I associate myself better with the latter option. There is nothing that people at home can do about it, I agree. But having spent so much time just to myself is getting a little too much. I feel the pinch of it almost everyday when I wake up to find the whole house quiet and empty.. It is so painful to make a single cup of tea for myself! Then comes having lunch (I dont eat breakfast because I've been getting up only at 1pm.. so where's the question of 'breakfast' when its already lunch time!) Anyway, one of the saddest parts of being alone at home is to eat single. With probably music or TV as your company... (thank God atleast those are there!) Out here, one has thoughts about having good food with "someone" (left to your imagination) and there is not a soul to even listen to what you have to say......

I prefer having food steaming hot. My mom is working, so she makes food in the morning and leaves for work. I have to re-heat it in the afternoon for lunch. There is this huge factor called "laziness" residing in me... a permanent tenant! So it kind of irks me in doing any activity! Be it bathing or switching the fan Off.. Well, basically to even move my well stationed rear...!

Who doesnt love being pampered......you dont get even an ounce of it when you're alone. Ok so getting back to food... I am a total foodie, I even dream of food! (blessed am I to know to cook pretty decently) Inspite of my love for food being so strong, the BIG FACTOR pulls it all down... I am filled with a 'funny feeling' (realisation actually) that only I have to do things inorder to satisfy my hunger. But it is such a pain to eat all alone and clear up the left-overs... Trust me!

Nothing can beat a lovely meal (home-made) preferably on a banana leaf, with many people around, talking of so many different things, havign a good round of gossip, laughing, playing pranks... hell of a lot more! All these not only add to healthy eating but also bring about a feeling of contentment. To eat this way, I'd prefer eating upto the brim and enjoying a cozy nap in a room filled with lots of people (friends and family) to whom I am close with, all lying around in a state very similar to mine!

I miss it all...............